QUESTION: Just what is it supposed to look like?

ah the sense to locate balance!!

i think there is being within doing but much expanded doing within being… being is where it's at, and you are so very good at that!

i love the idea of being “so taken by life that I'll not want to talk about either past or future but be so fully living life that there is not time (only now) to do anything but do what I'm doing, what I'm being.”

i think you're probably already getting close to living like that, eh, my friend?

i think, too, that i have too-specific ideas of what love is supposed to look like. they have been barriers for me. hopefully over time i will shed more and more of these and then step quite naturally into the love i have always been meant to live.

thank you for asking these questions, you are helping me be clearer though i don't know if any of this is any help to you :) hugs!

i think we all do it, have these preconceived notions about what love is supposed to be, or expectations of what love is supposed to do.  and when the real thing hits us, it's NOTHING like what people said it is!  not that they were wrong, it's that words can't do it justice at all.  it something bigger than we are, bigger than the “us” that represents it.  i know that in my own relationships, it was when i tried to control it, fit it into my notions of what it should be, that things went to crap.  allowing it to be, the love, separate from me, yet with me always, that has been the trick.  and it's not easy.  i still fall into wanting it to be a certain way, and that always ends up in a big fight.  but we want it to work bad enough to keep trying to get it right, regardless.

<3

Being the love. I just wrote about that myself. Many people feel people who are love gushers are disingenuious. I do not see it that way.

Society places such high expectations on love and what t is supposed to “look like”..gee, are we all clones…NOT! LOL

When first in love, we love ourselves more, in my estimation. We think we love the other, and this is the source, but in truth we love how the other makes us feel about ourselves!We are loveable, we are worthy! Time seems to diminish the intensity, but I have been kicking and screaming not to lose it…it feels so delicious.

Being the love  means (to me) being at peace with myself. Loving comes naturally then, no forcing, no expectations, no agendas…just living in and basking in the moment and taking it in. Of course, to others, this may sound strange, or will not resonate…

Feel free to be love in that way it feeds your soul…and know there is not way it is supposed to look, except to you.

Big hugs and “love”…
Aley

I think some questions have no answers, and sometimes working to let go of those strange (and even more so, those 'normal') expectations is both a greater challenge, and a more fruitful approach, than trying to determine what's 'right' or 'correct.'

But that's just me.

I have learned to keep it simple, to be present in my NOW, to allow my stories and those of others to detach from what is in front of me NOW, so I can drink in the extraordinary experience, the gift, that beholds me, whatever the magic moment….my bliss.

Hi John,  This sentence in your comment stands out:   Intellectually I have known that, but now it is coming into my feeling body and arising from its source, much of a place that I'm still unfamiliar with.  I think a lot of us are between an intellectual understanding of love or awareness and a feeling-body knowing of love or awareness.  I'm also not sure of the differences between awareness and love and presence in the moment, but am suspicious that when we're just in a place of being present….without going back to the story line which we've worshiped for so many years and is now disintegrating…..that the awareness somehow is love.    But (smiling) I'm finding it REALLY hard to talk about things the past couple of days.  I've been just kind of reading blogs and thinking “nope, nothing to add here, nope nothing to add here.”  But since you asked….. :)

Marianne Williamson explores this in her book “A Return To Love' and, if I remember correctly, she felt that when we first fall “in love” and all of the chemicals are zinging that we actually allow ourselves to just be in that place of pure love … I can't explain it in words, but I remember that she did a pretty good job of it.  :0)    I think that may be part of what you are saying, that it can't even be put into words without diminishing it somehow.  It's just beyond language.  I remember Brad and I laughing at ourselves because we were just helpless at getting anything else in our lives to feel organized … to even matter … we were so wrapped up in the bliss that we were a little brain dead to anything else. 

One more thought….there is more at work in our world whether we acknowledge it or not…we are soooo asleep to sooooooooooo much of who we are, and as much as we try, we cannot guarantee anything further than NOW. It is such a freeing place to be………such transformation, such bliss……

Hi John,

I read your blog this morning and thought I would come back whe I was more awake.  At 1:18 in the afternoon I wonder if I suffered lofty ambitions this morning? LOLOL…I will give this m best shot and I am sure I will be back with more thoughts.  

Love feels good and looks good.  The trick is being able to allow ourselves to KNOW that we deserve it. To KNOW that we are worthy of it. To KNOW that the love we are feeling, giving and receiving is the same love that is within us, that is US. 

You said: I think at the heart of it it is about trusting myself, loving myself fully that is the difficult thing to face here.  It is even a little scary cause I'm fumbling.

My thought is that you are fumbling because you are in your head with this.  Have you tried bringing these thoughts into your heart and beginning the above sentence with “I feel…”?  I have a suspicion that the sentence will end differently.  In your heart you KNOW the You of YOU.  The self love and trust is there waiting for you to embrace it and bring it fully into your everyday life, every breath.  Our heads get in the way.  The brain is the mouthpiece for our fears, our insecurities.  At best it is our protector but do we really need protection, and what do we need protection from, when we live our truth, the universal truth and come from a place of love?  Ok, I have no idea if any of that makes sense.  I know you will tell me!  I shall gather some thoughts and a little later I shall share a story about my husband Brian and how my experience of love evolved after meeting him.

Hello fool, isn't that the feeling you get while immersed in this thing we call love? It kinda takes the air out of your sails when you grok it the first time. Like what's with that? I got to give it away to keep it? Now wait a GD'ed minute..I'm not giving this up never..and what happens?, that right, it runs from us..Love just hates to be contained..

I've got my hands, and other things, burnt so many time from it. When am I going to wake up? When you're in love everything is just so wonderful..

I know a few things about a few things, John, but love is one of those things that is a mystery to describe in words..for me anyway..

You ask, Do you want to name the experience? the way it looks to you, me, him, us..sure, that's easy. It don't  matter how it looks. Nothing will matter except that feeling inside your heart.

And here's the big kicker…Ignorance with love is better than wisdom with out it.

I feel the love in all these comments above..I think Kathy said quite alot.
and Marianne Williamson book is a treasure.

We are all love..'cause that's all there really is when you cut away all the other crap..it's the cutting that makes the dance interesting.

I think you shouldn't think so much.
Just lay back and enjoy it, and bask in whatever it is right now.
Many times I take this approach - No past, no future, just Now.
No dragging old stuff in, no comparing, no wishing, no wondering, no imagining good or bad, no worrying..
Be real happy now. Don't waste time thinking about stuff.
(((hugs))

i was just typing and wrote quite a bit actually.  I bent over to scratch my foot and pushed something and it all disappeared. I wasn't making much sense anyway so it is probably a good thing. love hmmm. it is hard not to get into our mind about it most times especially when we want to re-live moments. Once you have love you want to hold on to it. Fear of losing it and the mind likes to take control. so, it really does get complicated and again I am not making sense. So i guess you just have to shut that mind down because when you are thinking you are not experiencing. 

Hi John, I'm happy for you that you have someone to cuddle and who cudles you! I have been in intimacy with Paulie now for …since Jan last year. I find all kinds of thoughts and fears and  projections arising… that wouldn't arise if I were alone and not in an intimate …oh , they wouldn't even arise if I were in a short term intimate relationship.
And , this is ok….. everything that arises, arises in the moment, and I find simple awareness of all that arises, knowing what it is, helps to not get involved in the fears…. they arise, but it's ok, just part of all that arises….
I find this relationship is where the biggest fears come up… and I am grateful because this is where the integration of my true nature and ego occurs.
So, I thank all these thoughts of fear… through them, despite of them… I Am…
I see these thoughts are choiceless… I can't make them go away… but they can be allowed to arise and subside, without “me” trying to catch them ….

Everything arises in the moment… even thoughts of past and future.. jusy know then for what they are..

John~
There has already been much wisdom shared by those who were here during the day. Here's what I have to add:

This was posted on someone's blog here a while back (sorry, I don't remember who it was). I found it to be a really great way of looking at how biology and our brains work in intimate relationships.
You weren't asking about the sexual side of love relationships, but as the chemical attraction is so much of what propels us into what we call love. Although she speaks to het relationships, I don't see it as different in its essence for whatever configuration you are in.

John,

Epistemology is a beautiful area of philosophy; one of my absolute favorites.  When you started with known and unknown, my brain perked up and said “I can contribute something of value!”. Yay!

Then you came up with love and being present.  When I sense attraction, I commonly make an overture and just see where it goes, how it lands, looking for reciprocity or dissonance.  Janet's video is relevant here as my brain gets tickled in a funny place when I sense love afoot; perhaps like a dopamine rush.  What I have been seeing over the past few weeks on Gaian channels is sexual expression of a strong nature, through language, imagery, and personal description.  Perhaps there is a sexual (r)evolution going on here!  I'd like that very much.

I see doing and being as subject and predicate for each other.  There is no doing without being first.  Unfortunately, perhaps even sadly, being rarely gets noticed unless it is doing something. 

Suggestion: behave as a dervish and spin until you become dizzy to the point of losing balance.  Then tell me whether you're being or doing.  I believe the answer will elude you as I have done this in the past.  Then all questions became infinitely small to me.

I am instructed to leave my “wise and insightful comment.”  Sheesh, talk about pressure!

“When I am intimately loving I know that I am loving … but when I am talking about this intimate loving, then I am projecting from another time, either past or future into the present moment, and then how can I be fully in the moment and presence of this loving arising?”  I gotta tell ya that I think love is one thing that transcends time.  I think when we speak of love it is one of the few things where we can talk talk talk all the while choosing not to project  from experience or expectation.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I project all the time, but that's when I'm being stupid and choose (dumbassedly) to project.  Projectile loving maybe.  But oh-my-god, when I get it right it is totally, completely, freakishly sublime, and then I know that whatever tense I subject love to is pointedly pointless.

Besides, I like it when you write about love.

Love!  Always have, always will.

But then again, as Siona says, that's just me…;-)

John dear, it's not supposed to look like anything you've ever seen before.
Let it all be New. And it is.

Be in this Moment. Enjoy it all fully with all of your senses.
Just nurture it and watch it blossom like a mysterious seed…
Not knowing what kind of flower it will be…
=)

My dear sweet “deaconass”,
What will be will be. You've dreamed and seen things before and they have come to pass.  I will never tire of the “what if” game and will play it with you forever.  You are where you are supposed to be, doing that which you are supposed to be doing.  I know you and you understand your limits and limitless possibilities better than any other I know.  Our gifts do not always come wrapped as we expect.  I know you are ever grateful for all the things that come your way and because you give so abundantly, abundance is ever flowing in your life.  Our answers are revealed when we need them to be revealed and when we have sought them appropriately.  You do this regularly and as naturally as the rest of us breathe.  These winds you feel moving are stimulating and brisk; brisk enough to set our sails to or launch our wings and soar with you.  It is a magic carpet ride.

Love is.

“I'm thinking that I want to be so taken by life that I'll not want to talk about either past or future but be so fully living life that there is not time (only now) to do anything but do what I'm doing, what I'm being.  Being doesn't seem to be withing doing, but doing is within being.”

I am thinking that as long as there is want, we are not completely embracing what is right here, right now and in the moment.  the words acceptance and embrace come to my mind here.

perhaps samme's comments above sum it up perfectly, love is. 

“what is it supposed to look like?' 

Ask yourself this –what is an apple supposed to look like?
 - and then look at real apples - or representations of an apple,
- painting, photo, ceramic, glass, wood, metal.
ask a kid.
lots of love & ((hugs))

                                                           

TAG! You are IT!

John,
 I think the most wondrous thing that your a “Being” is conscious! Being aware of what is going on for you and this process! Big joyous smile and hug for that! 
Thank you for your thoughts on my sign off, “I am Love” you don't know how many times that it has come back to bite me on the butt! So I am very please and blessed that you have witness and are also Love. 
For one can not see Love if one is not Being Love… 
Also yes, there are not proper words to describe Love, even though Poets have been trying for years.
I am going to point you in the direction of Conversation with God Book 1 chapter 8! A whole chapter on Love, relationships! Imagine that! I find some of these words, ideas some of the most amazing passionate thoughts and action about Love/relationships. 
I honor your journey. Remember you are not allow in this experience… and I am not expert, I have not been in a Lover relationship in years, except with the boundless Love relationship with Oneness… that I am only skimming across…
I am LOVE, Jeff

you're definitely an ass man. And this picture you posted says ass in motion. So, get your mojo moving. The only constant is love….it's the motion. So move on.

John,

LOVE is a state of being and LOVE is beyond individual being.  Any time you try to describe it, you limit it and put it in a box, where it will sufficate and die.  Root out all of these weeds that you discover in your garden.  As others have pointed out, you already know how you want to be and are getting close to expressing it continuously.

What you are worried about is “the story”.  It is “the story” that is going to disappoint you, not your lover.  Don't have a story.  Don't think about whether it will last forever or when it will end.  NO.  That is how you arrive where you are trying to go.  Just allow its unfolding, without condition, without judgment, without expectation and it may flourish for a long, long time - indeed it may flourish until you are no longer on the earth - and then, you will discover you were in love and as love and being love and living many lifetimes together over and over again in many different forms.

Enjoy and ask not what the morrow will bring.

Deborah